one of my main nicknames courtesy of my family is “emmy” and my uncle was like “what if you marry a guy named anthony whose nickname is tony then you’d be emmy and tony”
and then “what if his last name was award”
and then my cousin put in “if you have a son you could name him oscar”
emmy, tony, and oscar award
oh my god
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
My dad stopped expressing disappointment in me years ago and just sort of gets tired now
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
why does sex have to result in babies why cant it result in pizza
“push, Helen! push!” she gives the last of her energy, and she hears it
the soft, tender sizzle of a freshly baked pizza
the doctor holds it up by the crust, carefully snipping off the little plastic table
“it’s a deep dish!”
what the hell is wrong with this website
We like pizza and not babies.
(via sheerwonderbabyx)
so I was scrolling down my timeline on facebook to look for something and I ended up scrolling down to my first post ever and just
I have so many questions for my past self in 2009 like what happened what did akon do I’m so confused
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
when you find a shirt you really like and wear it a couple times and it starts doing
the thing
These are called pills. You can remove them with a shaving razor. Be gentle with delicate fabrics!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS A++ INFORMATION TUMBLR USER METALLIKATO
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)